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  • James Toffolo

How to Write Your Own Vows

Updated: Nov 20, 2023

As wedding videographers, we absolutely LOVE when our couples exchange their own personal vows. We love being able to use those personalised soundbites that truly represent you as a couple and your unique journey and love story. But aside from the fact that personal vows make our videos more emotive, they also add such a magical, intimate element to your ceremony for both you and your guests. We totally understand that writing your own vows can be daunting, so here are some of our tips to help you get started!

Don't take yourself too seriously

We think it's important to start with this one, because even though writing your own vows can feel nerve-wracking, it should be enjoyable and special which is only possible if you don't take it SO seriously. No one is expecting you to be the next Shakespeare; be yourself, write in a way that is authentic to you and your relationship, and just have fun with it!

Answer the following questions and sprinkle the answers into your vows:

What are your favourite things about your partner? When/how did you know you wanted to marry them? What makes you lucky to be marrying them? What do they do that inspires you? How do they make you a better person? What is something your partner does that makes you feel special?

Get inspiration from movies, books, poems, etc.

If you're feeling a little stuck, have a look at quotes from your favourite movies/books or lyrics from one of yours (or a shared) favourite song! You can also get inspired by looking up examples of other couples' vows on Instagram, Youtube, or TikTok. Obviously you don't want to copy them, but hearing someone else's might give you some great ideas.

Share an anecdote that represents you as a couple.

Be careful not to drag on for too long with this one, but sharing a couple of memories or stories that convey why you're so great together or how you fell in love can be great content for your vows! Do try to keep this short and sweet, as you don't want your vows to get boring.

Include a few promises.

What are a few things you promise to do as a husband/wife? We recommend including some promises towards the end of your vows as it's a lovely way to finish.

Write them out, practice & tweak them.

Using the pointers above, put pen to paper and write your first draft. It's probably going to be a bit long, so practice them out loud and time yourself; try to keep it under 3 minutes so that they're engaging and impactful. A few things to consider when you trim your vows down to the final version: 1. Keep the sentences short

2. Avoid long words that you're prone to stumbling on

3. Don't repeat the same point

4. Write how you'd actually speak - you want to sound like yourself, not like a robot!

Ask for feedback.

Whilst you don't want too many people to hear your vows ahead of time, ask a couple of people you trust to read them or listen to them, and ask for constructive feedback! This step also helps you get a feeling for what it will be like to read them in front of an audience.

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